Friday, June 5, 2009

How to maintain the world leadership of the absurd - Mr. Berlusconi, I'm tired...

This is a Beppe Severgnini's article published on Italians, a column of the Corriere della Sera. It's a long time I'm not writing about politics but believe me: I'm so sick of reading Italian newspapers (and now, foreigners press too) that I try to forget what's happening in my home country. Nevertheless I'll do this exception, once more to celebrate Beppe Severgnini's acumen and sarcasm, and I will (try to) translate his last Italians column post to English.

How to maintain the world leadership of the absurd.
The President of the Council is convinced that Italian journalists are the inspirers of all the negative comments abroad. Impossible, for two reasons. Given the number of published comments, we should be inspiring the whole holy day, and we have other things to do. And then, let us say, there is no need to do that. Our political class - not only its Chief - is capable of getting in the mess alone, without any help.

I know that it is shocking, but there are countries, like Great Britain, in which the ministers will resign when surprised to bill a lawnmower (in Italy a politician could bring home the entire factory, explaining that he's got have an immense lawn, and we would believe him). I know that it appears fool but an American president - Bill Clinton - risked the impeachment for a lie about a girl (we would like to know if it is nice, and if the lie comes from the Conservatives or the left wing).

However, let's think about the unimaginable. Let's suppose that the Italian Politicians had lost all of their imagination. The last story, from Casoria and Villa Certosa, is so incredible that our minds are tired. Here are some suggestions. How to maintain world leadership of the absurd, conquered at the price of so many outrageous efforts.

THE CARTHUSIANS (it's a joke about the name of one of the estates of the President of the council) - All of the PDL parliamentarians, anxious to demonstrate solidarity to their leader, rented a house in Sardinia and organize hundreds of parties simultaneously with fake volcanoes. The NATO thinks of an attack and sends flocks of F16 on the island. An euphoric Apicella (A Berlusconi's friend, a guitarist), on top of the Gennargentu, sings "So sweet to die for Silvio".

THE STORY OF QUIRINALE - Unbeknown to the President Napolitano, a group of young parliamentarians of PD, seven women and three men, detain in the palace for ten days to escape the black plague of the election results, and in turn tells stories of cutting humor. Does it seem like Boccaccio? Well, at least you pull on morale.

BICAMERAL VICE - Massimo D'Alema called on Silvio Berlusconi for a table of reforms. The latter agrees, praising the constructive spirit of the opposition, and then continues to do what it wants and likes (2nd episode, the result within twelve years).

MICROEXPO - Giulio Tremonti, in agreement with the Northern League, decided to lower further the appropriations for the Expo 2015. The event will cost 15,000 euros, to be spent on snacks (the theme is nutrition). The new CEO protests, the Minister of Economy quotes Cesare Pavese "Working, tires".

HOT WASTE - Throughout southern Italy, the garbage is collected and disposed on time with precision and regularity. Without protests? Without patronage systems? Nothing criminal? No pre-election promises? The world holds its breath, then bursts into an applause: incredible, unbelievable! They are really incredible, these Italians.

--

The original article, in Italian language, can be read here.

No comments: